Birthday Gift Ideas and Boyfriends: World’s Worst Birthday Gift

This is so funny I had to Post it, Enjoy

Dear sweetie the Exotic Dancer you got me for my Birthday Last year was a great idea. It would have been awesome if it wasn’t for the smell of cheap beer and onion powder. I could have overlooked the cellulite and the a** in the shape of a wet sack of laundry, but the smell of that perfume was a rancid combination that can upset even a dog’s stomach.

The “Thong Song” is now officially on my list of songs no longer allowed in my apartment. The disappearing thong trick is a magic act that I would never in my life wish on my worst enemy, especially when it reemerged with a new shade of brown, br brown brown brown!

I must admit I had a good laugh when she got really drunk, fell off the coffee table and passed out in a pool of Tortillas and Guacamole. I also had a great time knowing that mine and your friends were there to witness the whole ordeal. I only wish someone had a camcorder, because stills absolutely doesn’t do this story any justice.

What can I say? You are the Perfect Girlfriend for even thinking of such a present. Although! I would recommend not hiring topless dancers from the back of the neighborhood Home Depot.

We are both aware that my birthday is only weeks away and I’d like this one to go off without a hitch, Nothing big, just you and I. So here are a few ideas that could make this birthday pleasant

Birthday Gift Ideas A Boyfriend Recommendation:

• An Xbox 360, my old one met an unfortunate end when it accidentally fell from inside the wall unit and landed on the wall after a night of excessive lagging on Xbox live. Damn Halo 3!!!

• A new Digital Camera, There’s a new neighbor that just moved in with an awesome rack that I would to photograph. I hope you don’t mind, kisses!!

• Breast Implants, I love your rack don’t get me wrong. But don’t you think D’s would make a better pair than C’s

• A Ceiling Fan Harness, Remember the store in Manhattan, when we saw it and thought, my that could be fun

• A D**e Bag and A big bottle of Hennessey, remember the last time we did that.

• Remember when we were in the city we saw those awesome movies, the ones with the little person and the balding fat guy. I was thinking since we were going to get a harness anyway, we should get some instructions on how to use it.

• Finally Extenze, I think you would appreciate this one. I heard it adds girth and length. I could stand to add an extra 4, now you can enjoy it even more; all 6 of it bay yeah!!

Tags: birthday gift ideas and boyfriend, digital camera, don't make this mistake, exotic dancer, worlds worst birthday gift, xbox 360

This entry was posted on November 11, 2009 at 4:34 pm and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.